The world keeps moving, even with mine crashing down. All these logistics, documents, and people who need information are the type of stuff you were so good at. I spoke with the funeral home people here in Germany today, and they are taking such good care of you. They said they could make some fingerprint impressions that we could use for jewelry. I don’t know how that works, but it sounds like something you would like.
Katja took me to a toy store today to pick up Liam’s birthday present, which meant I had to get a toy for the rest of the babies. You would have loved the store, they had a large craft section similar to Michael’s but for kids. I miss you so much. I want to ask your opinion on so many things. I pull out my phone to text you,, and it hurts when I realize. It hurts so much. I miss the sound of your voice. I miss hearing you sing Hamilton and Taylor Swift.
I’m going home soon, and I’m scared. I know you won’t be there to greet me, which terrifies me. You won’t be there to put the little girls to bed, to plan Liam’s birthday, or to comfort me after a hard day. It hurts so much.
I’ve been talking to your sweater like you’re still here. I may be losing it. I’m not sure. I started a new TikTok for us. I want yours to stay as you left it, even though you didn’t survive 2025. I feel so lost. You kept me focused. You always made sure that I prioritized the right things. You were the sun of my world. You brightened everything and everyone. I miss you. I love you.