I’ve been putting this off all day, hoping this is all just a bad dream. Felicity had a pretty bad breakdown this afternoon. We had a good snuggle afterward, and the middle kiddos were very supportive. We miss you so much. I distract myself with busy work. It doesn’t work. My heart still aches for you.
I spoke with the funeral director, who said you should fly home on Monday. I have so much anxiety about your funeral. We went back and forth on whether you’d like to be buried or cremated. You finally settled on being buried in Palmyra, but we didn’t discuss details, so I hope I’m doing the right thing. Sarah has offered us two plots at her church, so I can rest next to you when it’s my time. The kids seem to like this idea because they can always see you.
I just want to cry all day, every day. I want to scream into the sky. I need you. You always calmed me. You knew what to say. You knew when I needed physical contact. I miss you so much. I love you.