To the love of my life, Laura Anne York:
Your courage, grace, and boundless love shaped our home, our children, and me. Though you were taken too soon, your spirit continues to guide us. This journal is my attempt to speak to you across the silence. It is where I place my sorrow, my love, and the stories I never got to tell you.
Every word is for you.
Love always, BJ
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I never wanted to write this.
This journal exists because Laura died, and everything fell apart. I needed somewhere to put the pain, the panic, the ache that doesn’t stop. I needed a place…
4 min read
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Day 5 without you.
My heart aches today. I’m at the airport without you. We made this trip together, and I’m going home alone. I want to yell and scream, but don’t…
4 min read
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Day 4 without you.
The world keeps moving, even with mine crashing down. All these logistics, documents, and people who need information are the type of stuff you were so good at.…
4 min read
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Day 3 without you.
I keep thinking you’ll text me and say you’re all done at the hospital and ready to be picked up. I want to picture you happy and pain-free,…
4 min read
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Day 2 without you.
I got to FaceTime our babies yesterday. They are so beautiful and so strong. Poppy was asking for you again. I wish I could be there with them,…
4 min read
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Day 1 without you.
I’m not sure how to move forward. You are my anchor. I thought I had prepared myself for this over the last few years. When I close my…
4 min read
