To the love of my life, Laura Anne York:
Your courage, grace, and boundless love shaped our home, our children, and me. Though you were taken too soon, your spirit continues to guide us. This journal is my attempt to speak to you across the silence. It is where I place my sorrow, my love, and the stories I never got to tell you.
Every word is for you.
Love always, BJ
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I never wanted to write this.
This journal exists because Laura died, and everything fell apart. I needed somewhere to put the pain, the panic, the ache that doesn’t stop. I needed a place…
4 min read
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Day 12 without you.
I can’t sleep. My heart is addicted to you. Every day and night is pure suffering without you. I constantly reach for my phone to text you. Thirteen…
4 min read
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Day 10 without you.
I’ve been putting this off all day, hoping this is all just a bad dream. Felicity had a pretty bad breakdown this afternoon. We had a good snuggle…
4 min read
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Day 9 without you.
This feels like an unfunny version of Groundhog Day. Instead of carefree laughs and a happy ending, it’s just pain and tears over and over again. I think…
4 min read
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Day 8 without you.
It has been 8 days without you. I’ve cried so much, hoping I would wake up from this nightmare. Time may heal some wounds, but I don’t know…
4 min read
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Day 7 without you.
I cannot believe it’s been a week. It felt like an eternity and 10 seconds at the same time. It is precisely 7 days, almost to the minute,…
4 min read
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Day 6 without you.
Last night, the older kids slept in our bed with me because they didn’t want me to be alone. I’m glad to be home with them, but it…
4 min read
